Saying I Do

Life keeps me busy.. What can I say?  By the way, happy November!

I was listening to some people talk the other day about why they as individual men were not going to marry.  "There's too much commitment", one said.  The other replied, "That, and who can you trust nowadays?"  It sort of, just a little bit, got me to thinking.

We live in a society where marriage failure is seen as inevitable no matter how hard you fight to make it work.  Divorce is what will happen.  There are no if's, and's, or but's about it.  Not to mention, you have every right to try and make it work with someone else..  Or five someone elses if you're just unhappy with who you're with.  You deserve to be stress-free for crying out loud.  You don't need the worry.  You don't need the anger.  You don't need to be shackled with someone who is going to make the rest of your life miserable.  Listen, if it feels good, do it.  No one can blame you.  After all, if you're dissatisfied with your spouse, it couldn't possibly be your fault, could it?

I was raised by my mom and dad.  They were married when they had me.  Crazily enough, in December of this year, they'll have 30 years under their belts as hubby and wifey.  Surprising, isn't it?   Growing up, they were my model, my ideal couple that I wanted my wife and I to be like.  Don't get me wrong..  They had their ups and their downs, their arguments, their fights, their sleeping in separate rooms for the night, their this and that.  But they stayed together.  Regardless of what happened the day before, the night before, the week before, the year before, they stuck it out.  They made it through.  And that was always my goal.  Divorce, though at times I'm sure discussed, was never really an option.

Now, I'm married.  No kids yet, but it's been almost 2 years since Brooke and I made our vows to one another - For better or worse, 'till death do us part.  In those two years, there have been several people, both singles and couples, who have come to us for advice.  "How do you make it work?" a woman said.  "What do you do when it gets hard?" a married man asked.  To answer both of their questions, Brooke and I both told of our perseverance.  We keep going.  We keep moving forward.  We know that the God we serve together is bigger than any spat we could ever have.  But you know what works best of all?  Communication.  Not just with God because that's kind of a given.  But with one another.  I can remember in marriage counseling, a couple once said, the most important things you can do as a married unit is, "1. Be intimate. 2. Talk to each other". What they said, I'll never forget, because I know now how important it is.  I want to encourage you, that if you're going through something as a married man or woman, talk about it with your spouse.  Sometimes I think that Brooke expects me to know everything she's thinking all at once.  And I can't.  It's impossible.  Likewise, I do the same thing.  There are days I expect her to know exactly what I mean how I say something.  And she can't.  It's impossible.  Saying I do is not just a momentary thing.  Say I do means I pledge to from this day forward, as long as I live.


Regardless of who said what or how it was said, or even your past experiences in relationships that lasted or didn't, you have the choice today to be a committed husband (or a potential husband, if you're a single man) or a committed wife (or a potential wife, if you're a single woman).  Prove the world wrong and show that nothing's impossible with God.